From Grief to Peace

 

 

 

 “I will turn their mourning into gladness,
I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.”

Jeremiah 31:13   /  NIV

 

When my Aunt Eva passed, my brother, Hank, sister-in law, Tanya, sister, Beth, cousin, Sue, and I all had the tremendous privilege of being with her. Looking back now, I was taken back by the lingering, peace-filled silence that fell over the room the very moment she passed. To me, it was un-mistakably the presence of the Holy Spirit of Jesus in our midst. Perhaps because she was 93, I remember feeling sad, but thinking about how she had lived a good, long life and finished the race. She would be sorely missed, but she went from our loving arms to those of Jesus. However, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this caring, kind, extraordinary, Christian Catholic woman was finally at peace.

Though sadness at losing Aunt Eva who helped raise us was palpable, there was a gentle knowing that guided our fervent prayers in the room that day upon her passing. It enabled us to accept her passing, with and through God’s grace. We had spent several days grieving her death at her bedside before she died. And now we realized she was, at last, at peace in eternal rest. She had spent her entire life selflessly helping those in most need. Because of how and who she lived her life, I remember thinking that our loss was Heaven’s gain. She left behind a wonderful legacy of love steeped in kindness, and her memory will live on for generations.

In Jesus’ Arms

I was comforted by the quiet knowing that she was in the arms of Jesus now. No more pain, no more struggling with old age, no more dementia. My sister in law, Tanya, and brother Hank, had taken wonderful care of her in their assisted living, Bowie Assisted Living in Maryland, but now she had gone home to be with her heavenly Father, God and hear: “Well done my good and faithful servant.”

God will always make a way for those who turn to Him. For 2 of God’s Bible promises are that when you turn to Him, you will find Him, and He will help you. What awe-inspiring promises! What that means in practical terms, is that He is ever-present and will go before you always to make a way in every situation you may encounter.

Very often, while caring for a loved one with an advanced illness in their final days, such as stage 4 cancer, caregivers lovingly sit at the bedside day after day and into the night tending to the most basic needs of their beloved family member, or dear friend. For most people, it is an incredibly difficult thing to do, and witnessing the death of someone who has been a central part of your life can be both an honor, and extremely difficult—even life-changing. They may feel angry that they didn’t have more time. Or overwhelmed by their impending loss. Sadly, denial of what is transpiring may hold them back from accepting the loss of their loved one. And it’s all ok, as no 2 people handle death and grief and loss the same. It’s a very personal process.

Jesus is Closest When We Are Hurting

For some, time seems to go painfully slowly, like watching an hour glass as you wait for them to pass, over a matter of weeks, days or hours. They may or may not feel God’s presence, though He is there with them in the midst of it all to comfort, guide, protect, and bring peace to all involved. For Jesus is closest when we are in our darkest hours. He comforts, consoles, and heals our broken hearts, even when we feel a persistent physical ache at the very thought of the passing of a loved one. We are all just that connected. But the truth is this: It wouldn’t hurt so much if you didn’t have such a long history and/or close bond with that person who is dying. In the end. It really is all about Love.

Sometimes, when we are in the throes of the fog of grief, we forget that God is with us – present to believers and non-believers, alike. We can acll on Him for help at any time. We may need to be reminded that Jesus is working around the clock on our behalf—and for the one who is preparing to go home–in those final days and hours.

Are we aware that He is helping our loved one let go, and that He is doing the same for us at the same time? Paving the way. It is hard to fathom, but do we understand that seeing our loved one suffer has the potential to help us with our grief later, as we eventually over time, come to see God’s mercy in not letting their pain and suffering continue on? It is often said that grieving often starts long before their passing. I for one believe that to be true.

For many, healing for those who lose a loved one who is dying begins when they first hear the dreaded diagnosis. Flooded with questions of the whys and the what-ifs with worst case scenarios, the grief and loss healing process often begins. However, God is so kind and merciful, that He allows us sometimes allows us to have focused, quality time to spend time together throughout their infirmity and last days. He often provides the dying and their loved ones opportunities for forgiveness and to make amends with those that they may not have loved as they could have. This can occur even from afar, in the depths of their hearts. It is always a blessing when God gives us time to digest the idea of life without our loved one. That is, additional time to live, against all odds, even baffling the doctors. That is exactly how you know it is God’s finest work of compassion. Through God’s grace and mercy, as we witness our loved one’s “downhill spiral” medically, we may be able to take a deep breath and prepare over time for what is to come before it actually happens, with God’s help.

Finding Solace

If you are grieving the loss of a loved one today, I pray that you will find solace in knowing that God is kind and merciful—He is with you through it all. Those who seek Jesus will find Him, and scripture tells us that peace and eternity will be theirs, regardless of missing your loved one dearly, and enduring sleepless nights. Jesus is there to lead you, comfort you, and heal your grief, and ease your loss. He will give you blessed memories for you to relish the person who has passed ongoing. Most of all, as believing Christians, Jesus is there for you through it all as you grieve, to meet your every need, and wipe away your all your tears. All you need to do seek Him and trust in Him with all your heart.

 

“I will turn their mourning into gladness,
I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.”

 Jeremiah 31:13   /  NIV

 

© Copyright 2025   |   Adele M. Gill

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About the Author

Adele M. Gill is a retired RN, certified Chaplain, freelance writer, author of 6 books, and a recipient of the International Positive Change Podcast Award https://theinspirationcafeblog.net. She is also the founder/author of The Inspiration Café Blog. Adele may be reached via email at: adelemgill@gmail.com.